Getting into the dolphin abundance timeline was a difficult process for me, because I didn’t easily trust my higher power to provide for me. I was living in a very Good vs. Bad reality and I felt that my life had mostly been Bad. What kind of higher power would set me up for that kind of life?
Terrible things had happened to me over and over and my only happiness was taken from me time and time again. I was confused about my life path and desperate for a change. But the blessing of hitting rock bottom is that your only choice is to go up. So, I started seeing the world through the lens that everything is Good. I started seeing that my higher power gave me certain difficulties for all the blessings that I got from them. I also started seeing all the Good that I could create from the place of being in flow, in trust, and in taking responsibility for my own emotional reactions toward the external happenings of the world.
Since I’ve done this, everything has been easy to see as Good, and really wonderful things have been happening to me. A few of my previous relationships have shifted and ended as I’ve stood up for myself and my needs, and even though it’s sad to lose people I care about, I see the higher wisdom in the entire experience. I can accept losing things so that better things can come through. With some meditative practice, I have been able to let these relationships go with love, and without much emotional pain.
Since adopting this new world view, my life has been a dream. I’ve had so many amazing opportunities and people come into my life. My relationships that are aligned are blossoming with this new way of thinking in romance, work, and friendships. Money, travel opportunities, and my overall happiness have been soaring. Had I cracked it? Would I never be sad or miserable again? (hahah)
I am currently in Tuscany, Italy, one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. I wondered about my future while I gazed out across the lush valley of rosemary and lavender bushes filled with bumble bees and butterflies. I felt secure and confident surrounded by my loving family, with work off for two weeks and nothing to do except work on my class Get Rich Quick and lounge by the pool. I had made it to paradise!
So when I started to feel nauseated while at dinner with my family, I thought, “How strange! Certainly this is not my energy!” I set up a shield and cut cords, which only made me feel worse. While my family finished their meal, I ran out to the parking lot and threw up into bushes.
I was confused. “I am in paradise. This doesn’t make sense. I’m too high vibrational to attract something so negative to me!” And then, “Oh, maybe I’m pregnant! But would a 5D pregnancy even have nausea?” I wondered. I was dubious. I was so unwilling to identify with the experience of being sick that I couldn’t even believe I was. Being sick was a Bad thing and I am now in a reality of only Good things. I could not contend the two realities and couldn’t even take ownership over the feeling until, driving up the Tuscany mountain roads, I had to get out of the car to projectile vomit multiple times.
When we got back to our airbnb, the illness was coming out of both ends. I wasn’t pregnant, I had food poisoning. Something Bad was certainly happening. As my body was gripped by the cycle of nausea and vomiting, I thought long and hard about why this was happening to me, and the best course of action forward.
What could I do?
First I prayed to my higher power to release me from this suffering. I’ve been in this position so many times, on my knees with tears streaming down my eyes, just usually not while puking. The old thoughts came up again. “Why is life unfair? Why are you punishing me? Please release me from this suffering!”
While none of those thoughts are wrong, I realized that my way of praying was really coming from a 3D perception. Something objectively Bad was happening to me, so how could it be Good?
I didn’t know, so I surrendered and tried to learn from it.
Why was this happening?
Some part of me called this experience into my reality. I felt annoyed that I’d disrupted my family’s night out with being sick and I realized that I would have preferred to “take one for the team” and not be a disruption. But, being this sick made it so I HAD to take up space. I HAD to share my needs. I HAD to receive care from others. Perhaps there was an imbalance in the group dynamic because of my resistance to being cared for that had manifested this reality to right the imbalance.
Additionally, me being sick changed the entire household’s plans. A train trip to Florence was put on hold the entire week’s plans were rearranged. Perhaps nothing short of this would have changed the direction of our group, and perhaps we avoided some terrible fate, worse than food poisoning.
Some part of my reality had called this experience to me. I didn’t know what part and I didn’t know why. I remembered that I am a dumb dumb and my higher power is far wiser than me. So I changed the way I was praying.
Instead of saying, “Please release me from this suffering” I prayed, “Please let me continue suffering until the lessons I need to learn are integrated. Let me get the most from this unusual and uncomfortable experience.”
And from that place, everything shifted. I laughed as I realized the shirt I was wearing was one I’d recently designed, “999 Universal Wisdom.” I realized I had called in Universal Wisdom and Universal Wisdom is the wisdom of the ALL, not just one side of reality. Here I was in a high contrast experience, puking my guts out while in paradise.
As I spent the night nursing water, briefly sleeping, being sick, and repeating that cycle, I found the gratitude that was available to me. My body was a marvelous machine and it was taking very good care of me. My fever was killing whatever bacteria were left in me, and my body was physically, if not violently expelling everything inside of me. And hey, I was getting a really hard core ab work out!
I honored the part of me that was uncomfortable. I gave space for the part of me that felt I might die this way. I allowed my negative feelings to exist. I heard them, and I loved them. I agreed that this experience was certainly terrible, but, I asked myself, wasn’t it kind of cool? Wasn’t it kind of funny? Wasn’t it something so unique that I could only experience on Earth? I was completely consumed by the act of being alive. I was completely in the present moment. I didn’t shame myself for my fear or negative feelings, I agreed completely with them - but I didn’t let them take over my entire emotional reality.
In the morning everyone worked together to take care of me. My dad went to the store and made a healing vegetable soup, which his dedication to making healed me even though I haven’t been able to take a single bite of it yet. I felt the love and care from the people around me, and I got the gratitude of feeling better bit by bit.
Though the suffering consumed me for a time, soon it will just be a memory. In the meantime I can trust that all things are Good, even when they’re Bad because believing so simply makes my life better. Certainly I would like to avoid uncomfortable experiences and seek out pleasurable ones, but the 5D view can allow us to see things outside of our control as divine gifts - blessings, even when we can’t understand them as such.
From this place, I have healed quickly, and seen my family continue to have a good time, while still caring for me. I did not ask them to join me in misery, instead, I hoped my positive attitude could give them some relief next time they’re in a difficult position. It’s all divine! It’s all divine!
When Bad Things Happen in 5D
I do number symbolism videos, but you never seem to say what these numbers mean to you, except that one phrase there. What do they mean to you?