Most people, when talking about manifesting, will tell you to live large! Go shopping! Buy whatever you want! Treat yourself. Act like you are already the expanded version of yourself and the money will come to meet you where you are at at!
While that advice may work for a number of people, there are a lot of potential issues with it, but they might not be the issues you expect.
Abundance is about your feeling state. So, while spending large can have you feeling abundant temporarily - you may have a sinking feeling in the back of your mind. If you know that your income or your bank account don’t currently support your spending habits, your feeling state is going to become disregulated very quickly. If you are going into debt to live these life experiences, a certain part of your energy body will feel that you are in debt and be frozen in a fear state. These negative feelings will work against you.
Your bank account and your debt are extensions of yourself. They live as part of your energy body. So as much as you might want to imagine that you can spend like there’s no tomorrow and not have a care in the world, you will have some part of your subconscious self still tied to the knowledge of the imbalance of energy. You cannot actually turn a blind eye to this part of your life. It would be the same trying to ignore an entire room of your house but just filling it with trash. Eventually you would have to pay attention. It is much better to keep this “room” clean and aired out so you can enjoy it.
Additionally, spending like there’s no tomorrow is not actually abundance. Shopping sprees, large hauls, frantically booking trips, going out to expensive dinners multiple times a week, and getting endless boxes in the mail without knowing what they are may actually be signs of a shopping addiction.
When you are using money to fill an emotional space of emptiness or to quiet a gnawing anxiety - you are attempting to regulate your nervous system with material reality. Material reality is NOT permanent and so it cannot be relied on for true cultivation of PEACE. You must find peace in yourself and in your energy body first. Then, and only then, will you find true abundance.
One way to detox from these addictive patterns is to take a long break from buying anything at all. Other than groceries, gas, utilities, and daycare, you can simply stop buying things. Become crafty. Make do with what you have. Settle into the feeling of actually having enough. Do this for one whole month if possible.
Notice where you want to cave. But this thing I want is now on sale! But it’s so cheap. But, but, but - watch your ego try to reason its way around this new restriction. Watch your energy body. Watch yourself feel anxious and your mind reel. But I NEED it! Then watch yourself come up with a creative solution. Maybe someone has one you can borrow. Maybe you get creative. Maybe you don’t actually need it all that much.
While you are in this state make a list on paper or in your phone. Call it “Universal Order” and simply write down every single thing you felt at all like buying in that month. When the month is over, look over your list and see how many things you still need or want.
While you may not buy every single thing you want or need that is still on your list at the end of the month, keep the list around. Think of it like a restaurant order that you put into the universe. The universe is in the kitchen making your food. If it came out all at once, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it, so let this chef take their time and dish out your desires as you are ready for them.
Relax your energy body and trust that things will come to you in time. That is true abundance!
Another banger of a post Unicole. I like the idea of doing a 30-day no-shopping challenge, and writing down a list of all the stuff you felt like you had to buy. Man, the "act as if you're already rich and buy shit anyway. If you can't afford it, you're just believing you can't and living in scarcity mentality" is such a thing in LoA circles. So it's refreshing to hear someone actually recommend the opposite. I quoted you in my last blog post/newsletter because I think you're offering much needed insight into the subject.
I'll add some more thoughts inspired by your post, below:
In Tim Grimes' book "The Law of Attraction Simplified" he has a chapter on Food, Shelter, and Clothing that was of great relief to me. He says everything we actually need to survive, the basic necessities, are usually easy to manifest and already abundant in our lives. But what we think we want are basically cosmetic upgrades to satisfy this feeling of lack, fueled by comparing ourselves to some perceived ideal of "living our best life."
In Victor Boc's book "How to Solve All Your Money Problems Forever" he talks about addiction in a way I've never seen people talk about in LoA circles. It's this unconscious emotional-demand placed upon a desire. You can sniff it out if you have any sort of jealousy or envy, or sense of resentment or upset at not having what you want. This "addiction" carries with it a sense of neediness and craving that repels what we want away from us.
His solution is to turn your addictions into "preferences" You can desire something, but feel no lust or dependency on receiving it. There's a relaxed detachment with a preference. With an addiction, there's an urgency behind it. In terms of money, feeling panic at the thought of not having any, having a strong aversion to poverty, a sense of failure or digust with oneself for being broke or not having enough, are tell-tale signs you're in an addiction dynamic.
After working on some of this myself, I felt tremendous shame around being broke. Coming from poverty and overcoming it by having success in my career, I got addicted to being successful. I got addicted to the clout and admiration I received. So if I can't make money, or if I'm not receiving validation from others, I get very anxious. I have tons of critical thoughts and judgements on myself. My gf picks up on this and it makes her anxious too and it causes tensions in our relationship. I feel like I'm falling from grace and sinking into poverty and bringing her down with me.
This tension would temporarily motivate me to work and hustle again. I'd get a client project which would feel like a refreshing glass of water in the desert. Enormously grateful for the relief, but there was dread lurking beneath the surface. Knowing I couldn't rest, that I had to keep the inflow going. I would feel trapped in this cycle, feeling exploited and a victim of capitalism. I would see exploitation everywhere, and being asked to do anything felt like a violation of my freedom, even if they were paying me. So much resentment.
It wasn't until this week I realized that maybe I have an addiction to money or success (amongst other things, like validation from women). I'd like to heal these wounds and transcend this obsessive compulsive cycle of thirst/lust/craving and temporary satiation.
Everything you're writing about having a relaxed nervous system and cultivating those feelings of safety and love within are spot-on IMO. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
People need to distinguish what is needed from what is wanted, first.
Then they need to figure out what benefits their bodies, minds, and souls.
Seeking mere sense gratification will mean suffering.