Another banger of a post Unicole. I like the idea of doing a 30-day no-shopping challenge, and writing down a list of all the stuff you felt like you had to buy. Man, the "act as if you're already rich and buy shit anyway. If you can't afford it, you're just believing you can't and living in scarcity mentality" is such a thing in LoA circles. So it's refreshing to hear someone actually recommend the opposite. I quoted you in my last blog post/newsletter because I think you're offering much needed insight into the subject.
I'll add some more thoughts inspired by your post, below:
In Tim Grimes' book "The Law of Attraction Simplified" he has a chapter on Food, Shelter, and Clothing that was of great relief to me. He says everything we actually need to survive, the basic necessities, are usually easy to manifest and already abundant in our lives. But what we think we want are basically cosmetic upgrades to satisfy this feeling of lack, fueled by comparing ourselves to some perceived ideal of "living our best life."
In Victor Boc's book "How to Solve All Your Money Problems Forever" he talks about addiction in a way I've never seen people talk about in LoA circles. It's this unconscious emotional-demand placed upon a desire. You can sniff it out if you have any sort of jealousy or envy, or sense of resentment or upset at not having what you want. This "addiction" carries with it a sense of neediness and craving that repels what we want away from us.
His solution is to turn your addictions into "preferences" You can desire something, but feel no lust or dependency on receiving it. There's a relaxed detachment with a preference. With an addiction, there's an urgency behind it. In terms of money, feeling panic at the thought of not having any, having a strong aversion to poverty, a sense of failure or digust with oneself for being broke or not having enough, are tell-tale signs you're in an addiction dynamic.
After working on some of this myself, I felt tremendous shame around being broke. Coming from poverty and overcoming it by having success in my career, I got addicted to being successful. I got addicted to the clout and admiration I received. So if I can't make money, or if I'm not receiving validation from others, I get very anxious. I have tons of critical thoughts and judgements on myself. My gf picks up on this and it makes her anxious too and it causes tensions in our relationship. I feel like I'm falling from grace and sinking into poverty and bringing her down with me.
This tension would temporarily motivate me to work and hustle again. I'd get a client project which would feel like a refreshing glass of water in the desert. Enormously grateful for the relief, but there was dread lurking beneath the surface. Knowing I couldn't rest, that I had to keep the inflow going. I would feel trapped in this cycle, feeling exploited and a victim of capitalism. I would see exploitation everywhere, and being asked to do anything felt like a violation of my freedom, even if they were paying me. So much resentment.
It wasn't until this week I realized that maybe I have an addiction to money or success (amongst other things, like validation from women). I'd like to heal these wounds and transcend this obsessive compulsive cycle of thirst/lust/craving and temporary satiation.
Everything you're writing about having a relaxed nervous system and cultivating those feelings of safety and love within are spot-on IMO. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Another banger of a post Unicole. I like the idea of doing a 30-day no-shopping challenge, and writing down a list of all the stuff you felt like you had to buy. Man, the "act as if you're already rich and buy shit anyway. If you can't afford it, you're just believing you can't and living in scarcity mentality" is such a thing in LoA circles. So it's refreshing to hear someone actually recommend the opposite. I quoted you in my last blog post/newsletter because I think you're offering much needed insight into the subject.
I'll add some more thoughts inspired by your post, below:
In Tim Grimes' book "The Law of Attraction Simplified" he has a chapter on Food, Shelter, and Clothing that was of great relief to me. He says everything we actually need to survive, the basic necessities, are usually easy to manifest and already abundant in our lives. But what we think we want are basically cosmetic upgrades to satisfy this feeling of lack, fueled by comparing ourselves to some perceived ideal of "living our best life."
In Victor Boc's book "How to Solve All Your Money Problems Forever" he talks about addiction in a way I've never seen people talk about in LoA circles. It's this unconscious emotional-demand placed upon a desire. You can sniff it out if you have any sort of jealousy or envy, or sense of resentment or upset at not having what you want. This "addiction" carries with it a sense of neediness and craving that repels what we want away from us.
His solution is to turn your addictions into "preferences" You can desire something, but feel no lust or dependency on receiving it. There's a relaxed detachment with a preference. With an addiction, there's an urgency behind it. In terms of money, feeling panic at the thought of not having any, having a strong aversion to poverty, a sense of failure or digust with oneself for being broke or not having enough, are tell-tale signs you're in an addiction dynamic.
After working on some of this myself, I felt tremendous shame around being broke. Coming from poverty and overcoming it by having success in my career, I got addicted to being successful. I got addicted to the clout and admiration I received. So if I can't make money, or if I'm not receiving validation from others, I get very anxious. I have tons of critical thoughts and judgements on myself. My gf picks up on this and it makes her anxious too and it causes tensions in our relationship. I feel like I'm falling from grace and sinking into poverty and bringing her down with me.
This tension would temporarily motivate me to work and hustle again. I'd get a client project which would feel like a refreshing glass of water in the desert. Enormously grateful for the relief, but there was dread lurking beneath the surface. Knowing I couldn't rest, that I had to keep the inflow going. I would feel trapped in this cycle, feeling exploited and a victim of capitalism. I would see exploitation everywhere, and being asked to do anything felt like a violation of my freedom, even if they were paying me. So much resentment.
It wasn't until this week I realized that maybe I have an addiction to money or success (amongst other things, like validation from women). I'd like to heal these wounds and transcend this obsessive compulsive cycle of thirst/lust/craving and temporary satiation.
Everything you're writing about having a relaxed nervous system and cultivating those feelings of safety and love within are spot-on IMO. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
People need to distinguish what is needed from what is wanted, first.
Then they need to figure out what benefits their bodies, minds, and souls.
Seeking mere sense gratification will mean suffering.